Gaia House

by Gerald Dōkō Virtbauer

All change is a miracle to contemplate; but it is a miracle which is taking place every instant. (Henry David Thoreau, 1817–62)

A door is only a door, if it is open. (Saying in India)

Happiness and Buddhism have a tricky relationship. Many people consider the aim of Buddhist practice to be a neutral equanimity and calmness. Being happy contrarily is in our culture very often connected with deep emotions and feelings. Indeed, what the Buddha taught is mainly detachment from all kinds of inner reactions and the ability to watch whatever is going on inside without the need to immediate reaction—whether positive or negative. Clarity is based on the ability to neutrally observe everything in life.

The question seems to be what happiness in a deeper psychological sense really means. I like the picture of buying food in a grocery store. In a way we are aware of the whole selection, but we choose the things we suppose to be important and nourishing for us in the present moment. The mind works in a very similar way. There are uncountable things going on in every instant in our consciousness and it seems quite a strange and huge task to choose the waves to ride on which lead to an unfolding of the deeper qualities of life and happiness.

‘Choosing’ from a Buddhist point of view mainly means letting-go, because there is in a deeper sense neither a chooser, nor something to choose. It is the connection—the mutual interdependence between all living beings—which becomes the main power in the life of each individual, as soon as one is able to really let go into an experience beyond words and conceptions. The interdependence itself chooses and the person becomes the choiceless receiver of a deeper truth which includes and transforms the whole personal history and possibilities in this moment.

To become a choiceless receiver requires the courage to really listen deeply and develop the skills to find a personal way out of conditioning into a truth beyond words—in short, from a Buddhist point of view, ‘ongoing faith into the Buddha way’, referring to Dōgen. From my point of view this surrendering and letting everything fall into place is the greatest happiness which is possible for human beings. I also think that this is completely compatible with different cultural approaches to happiness.

In this sense, Buddhist practice is not entirely about detachment, but more about finding a skillful way to forcelessly let the gates to happiness in life open by themselves, which are already there. The Dharma gates to liberation and happiness are the constant partners in our lives. They open by themselves moment by moment and invite each one of us to enter.

Well,…it falls to the least technologically endowed coordinator to write the inaugural Gaia House blog! It’s the day after the end of the November Solitary retreat and the house has returned to its ‘in-between group retreat’ mode. A different kind of quietness takes hold, the individual presences of the coordinators and long term personal and work retreatants silently intermingling with a comfortable and kind familiarity. On one level we all seem to know each other pretty well (or at least I imagine we do). The November Solitary retreat seemed to go well… each retreat has its idiosyncrasies in terms of preparation and enactment, and I feel I can breathe out and relax a bit now before the next retreat in a few days time. The closing day of a retreat, particularly such a long one, is an interesting time…. coming to know some of the retreatants outside of their silence, seeing how their fulsomeness is enhanced for me as they re-engage in the verbal realm after, for most, a month of not talking. Some retreatants emerge with a bright eyed, appreciative animation, while others appear more cautious and reserved as they try to steer a way back into dialogue, back into relationship. In my retreat experience I tend to identify with the latter group, often struggling at the end of a retreat with a to-ing and fro-ing ambivalence… wanting to engage and make connections, while at the same time feeling fearful at opening myself out again. I have many recollections of a palpable sense of vulnerability at these times.
Today also marks the departure of my colleague Doug who has been the Garden Coordinator for the last 19 months. When I watch Doug go about his business I am reminded he is the one among us who, day-to-day, has the most contact with the natural world; his trying, as all gardeners do, to coax and mould the earth in such a way that it meets the needs of us human animals. I recall his disappointment and frustration when the tomatoes suffered blight and also when a whole load of contaminated manure had to be laboriously removed from the garden. In contrast to these events, the ground also brings forth a bounty of courgettes, apples, kale and lettuce to mention but a small portion of the harvest. Doug has to immerse himself in the knowledge of seed and elements in order to nurture growth so that we ourselves might be nourished. He has to work with, as opposed to against. Reflecting on this, maybe I’ve learned something vital from watching Doug meander around the garden sporting his trademark Barbour jacket and bobble-less bobble hat…..maybe I too can learn something about working with that which surrounds me, rather than against. When thinking about Doug, there’s also the day-to-day person I know- the maker of exquisite jam, the lover of real coffee and last, but definitely not least the ‘bear with a sore head’ who has a chronic aversion to early mornings! So, in all that you are Doug I wish you well in your departure from a world of 6.30a.m. porridge making and 7.55a.m. team meetings, back into a world of luxuriant and well earned lie-ins.

This is a space for all who are regularly involved at Gaia House to post thoughts and reflections on things that inspire, challenge, distract and encourage us.